The Sunday, February 15, 2009 Washington Post ran a fascinating article about truth telling and trust. Researches at MIT’s Media Lab found that body language, vocal pattern and pitch are so critical to human trust that the researchers could predict the success of a sales pitch by reading body language alone. They didn’t even have to hear the content of the pitch.

This very same principle, I suspect, applies to negotiations as well. After all, we are all pitching something when we negotiate. We are pitching our solution, our position and our perception of the facts. What if your body language, vocal pattern and pitch actually conveyed a negative message? That would mean that even if you had the best offer or counteroffer in the world, your counterpart would not agree to it. 

Use Non-verbal communication to build trust.

It turns out that there are some very positive things that you can do to win people’s trust.  The first three bullets are from researchers at MIT. The next two are from my experience as a mediator.

Researchers

1. Use positive body language, i.e nodding your head in agreement when you do in fact agree.
2. Use correct vocal inflection and range, i.e. we change the vocal inflection and range when we are angry/frustrated and when are happy/relaxed. Choose happy and relaxed.
3. Speak at the same rate as your partner i.e. slow down for some and speed up for others.
My mediation experience
4. Convey an open mind by asking open ended questions, i.e. what does fair look like from your perspective?
5. Allow people to speak at length about what matters to them, i.e. shut up more often.

The article quotes Alex Pentland as saying, “We’re still extraordinarily sensitive to socially appropriate behavior, but it is so deeply buried that we are almost unconscious of it.” Get conscious today. Pay attention to your body language at the bargaining table.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, February 17th, 2009 at 2:23 pm and is filed under Creating Value. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.