206-240-7678 jn@jnyden.com

Getting to We

Business leaders tell me that they “know we can get more out of the relationship.” The reality for many relationships, though, is that customers and suppliers fear they are stuck in a bad business relationship with each other.

Frustration becomes the dominant emotion of the relationship. Deep-seated suspicions fester. People are always feeling frazzled by the other teams’ actions. Performance suffers and people demand adherence to the contract terms. Maybe this is true for one of your relationships?

It doesn’t have to be like this. I’ve worked with prosperous business relationships where people work across company boundaries to solve issues large and small. They have fruitful conversations that yield fresh approaches to long-standing operational challenges. They even like working together.

“The worst thing that can happen is that we change the contract and we don’t change the behaviors to support the contract.” 

L. R.

Senior Vice President, strategic solutions

The key to turning around under-performing customer/supplier relationships is “Getting to We,” not just getting to “yes.”

Just imagine what it would mean to your business if you could turn an under-performing relationship around? Many companies have. And, they are profiled in my third book, Getting to We: Negotiating Agreements for Highly Collaborative Relationships.

Getting to We gives business people a very clear idea of how to develop highly collaborative, productive, and creative relationships. The book has plenty of real-life examples from companies who’ve turned relationships around, and it has questions to help guide you on your collaborative journey.

If you are ready to turn around an under-performing relationship, email me at jn@jnyden.com to make an appointment.


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Who I Work With

I work with both buy-side and sell-side teams who negotiate a range of contracts.

How I Can Help

Virtual learning. Learn more about The Contract Professional’s Playbook eLearning program for your team, which can be tailored to meet your exact need.

Free Resources

Blog, webinars/videos, articles, white papers PLUS a free sample from The Contract Professional’s Playbook eLearning program.

“A lot of people talk about collaboration but do just the opposite. Productive, collaborative conversations don’t have to be an oxymoron. Your book made a lot of sense to me.” 

J. B.

Vice President , sales and marketing

Getting to WE Book Signing

Jeanette Talks Collaboration: Listen now to one of my more interesting, funny, and engaging interviews about Getting to We. (Scroll down to the bottom of the ICOSA media page to the links to the audio recordings.)

This is not your typical interview! I talk about collaboration, about being a Chicago Public Defender and a host of other topics with Gayle Dendinger, founder and CEO of CAP Logistics.

Getting to WE reviews

Getting to We FAQ’s

Getting to We is a book about negotiating, but you say it is more than a traditional negotiation book. How is it different?

Hundreds of books have been written on negotiation strategies and tactics such as Getting to Yes, Getting Past No, Getting More, and even Start with No. Those books focus on one-off transactions. Negotiators get a signature and think they are done.

Getting to We puts the horse before the cart. It is not about getting the best deal today and then hoping that a good relationship follows. Negotiators and business leaders learn that the secret to a “good deal” is negotiating the relationship before negotiating the deal points.

What is the main difference between negotiating a deal and the relationship?

The difference starts with the goal of the negotiation (negotiate the relationship first) and continues with the process and tactics that people use during the negotiation. Old school, tit-for-tat, no one is happy until there is blood in the water tactics just won’t cut it if you want to develop a highly collaborative relationship. You’re shooting yourself in the foot if you use those tactics to develop a highly collaborative relationship.

How is the Negotiate to We program, part of Getting to We?

The “Negotiate To We” program fills the negotiation skills gap. It gives people the tools to solve nagging operational issues together. They put the old school tactics to the side and learn to use collaborative techniques instead. People learn how to collaboratively communicate and negotiate for better relationship performance.

“Getting to We” is a process, not a skill. You “Get to We” over time as you follow the steps, build trust, and work your governance processes.

What Does WIIFWe stand for?

WIIFWe stands for “what’s-in-it-for-we.” It’s not nearly as hokey as it sounds. WIIFWe means the relationship is mutually beneficial. I know everyone says that, but people who really think “what’s in it for me and my partner” are good collaborative negotiators.

WIIFWe sounds like ‘win-win’?

Yes. No apologies there. Listen, win at any cost is killing many of you. Many relationships can do way more when people learn to think in terms of mutual benefit and to create and share value.

Is getting to a ‘win-win’ real?

If it weren’t, I’d not have written three books on the topic or spent 12 years teaching it. I’ve gotten a win-win on large and small deals alike. Getting to We profiles real-world success stories of companies that have applied a win-win, WIIFWE mindset.

How do I get started on Getting to We?

The only pre-condition to “Get to We” is to be willing to embrace a WIIFWe, mutual benefit philosophy. Once you have that, you are all set to follow the steps outlined in the book. Or, you can email me. I can help you pick the right relationship and develop a project plan to rewire that relationship for success.

Jeanette Nyden: jn@jnyden.com | 206-723-3472